Working Couples and Balance
A person’s career and family are both essential aspects of their lives. On the other hand, most working couples find it challenging to find a good balance between the two. This challenge can lead to marital discord, as it is almost unrealistic to devote equal attention to both work and family.
Sitting back and waiting for events to work themselves out is the biggest blunder a couple can make. When people do this, their marriage tends to receive less focus and effort. Worse still, most people aren’t conscious that they aren’t paying close attention to their relationships until they are in trouble.
Where to Start?
Here are some simple ways in which married working couples can enjoy a wonderful life!
A good marriage is made up of two people who care for each other and are dedicated to bringing out the best in one another. Ask yourself, “Is what I’m going to do or say likely to give my spouse discomfort or pleasure?”
After that, each of you can make two lists:
- One for anything your partner does to make you unhappy.
- Another one that describes what you want your partner to do to make you happy.
Criticism, disdain, sarcasm, eye-rolling, dismissing, and distancing attitudes are negative and painful habits.
Exchange the lists, and you’ll understand precisely what to do and what not to do. There will be no more mind-reading! There will be no more speculation! There will be no more assumptions! There will be no more indirect contact.
Make Rituals for Love and Friendship
Rituals are valuable because they offer continuity. It also assists us in bridging gaps and reflecting on the larger picture. It helps us in both forgiving and forgetting (things that are not worth remembering).
Positive vibes, appreciation, and affection pervade a loving relationship. Love routines will assist you with this. Here are some rituals for love and friendship that we recommend…
Every day make a call. (This is particularly important for husbands). Let’s say right after lunch!
Hug your partner in the morning. One more hug before going to work and one can be right after arriving home from work would make your partner feel amazing.
Particular attention should be paid to anniversaries. Instead of getting stuck two days prior to your anniversary and going out to get roses or buy a bottle of fragrance or asking meekly, “Is there something else you need?” try to do something, you both love. She is going to say “No”. Never embrace the excuse of “not buying because there is no need.” Anniversaries are worthy and necessitate extravagant gifts. Birthday celebrations are also fun, and anniversary celebrations should be a blast!
Before you go to sleep, compliment each other. This compliment may no longer be a word or an expression. It has to be at least for a paragraph long. It must tell a story rather than simply expressing an opinion. This necessitates coming up with new ideas every night! Is that clear?
At least once a month, have a “date night”.
Resolve Thorny Problems With Solid Communication Skills
The “listener-speaker technique” is a technique that every couple should master. This is how it works: One individual holds an item in his or her hand, indicating that he or she is in charge of the floor. When one person is speaking, the other will only talk to validate what they have learned.
The speaker must ALWAYS hold the symbolic item in his or her hand. The first few instances can be both annoying and amusing. Everyone soon gets the hang of it. It has worked out wonderfully for All participants who have given it a chance. When partners use this strategy, each person has the opportunity to say what they need to say without interference, refutations, blame, or assault. This reduces irritability and facilitates the search for solutions.
Take Advantage of the Situation
Do you stop and massage your spouse’s shoulders, kiss them on the forehead, and say something sweet in their ear as you pass them at work or when you stroll by them?
Happily married couples, according to research, take advantage of opportunities as they occur. They seek out chances to be emotionally and physically close to one another. Couples can capture moments by going for walks together, having tea together after dinner, listening to songs, or even watching films together.
Working Couples: Share Common Goals
“After you get married, what do you want to do in the next 50 years?” a question every couple should ask themselves before getting married. Human beings need value, purpose, and meaning in the same way that we need water.
Sharing positive interactions enriches the friendship among happily married couples. The most incredible sense is to share a common life ethic and a commitment.
Expectations Should Be Consciously Handled
Unexpressed aspirations in a relationship sometimes lead to dissatisfaction and misunderstanding. And managing expectations — anything from everyday activities to working styles — can be the first step toward sustaining a stable marriage and a busy two-career schedule.
Do you need time to relax and unwind after a hard day at work, or do you need someone to debrief the day’s developments? Do you prefer brief, regular contact (e.g., phone conversations, emails) during the day, or do you favor more intimate time with each other in the evenings? What are your travel, child-care, and financial goals? Clarifying these issues ahead of time will help you make rational trade-offs and choices rather than clashing with each other’s unspoken values.
Put Your Partner on Your Schedule
On an average workday, a person works for ten hours. Meetings, evaluations, and time to complete your tasks are all arranged during your time at work. Exercise, social gatherings, shopping, friends, and social support are just a few things on the schedule.
But, how necessary is it for you to schedule your spouse? Putting equal effort into arranging time together is among the best things you can do to make marriage as working couples strong. If you don’t devote the same amount of time to your spouse as you do to your job, your most important relationship can fail.
Cheat With Your Job Sometimes
When a job meeting clashes with a personal engagement, what do you do? And how many evenings and holidays are ruined by the need to finish something for work in “just a few hours”? Many people develop the habit of “sacrificing” time with their families to work.
Here’s a twister for you. Will you even make time for your partner by cheating on your work? When’s the last time you sneaked away on an unplanned lunch date or went home early for a surprising early homecoming? How much do you say no to a job call or an event because you’ve arranged a date night?
Be spontaneous outside your planned schedule, and ensure you’re not regularly canceling dates with your partner to attend work commitments.
It should be noted that couples bond on a profound level when they share genuinely meaningful interactions. These patterns may seem trivial, but they can form the basis of a deeply satisfying marriage if they are practiced consciously and faithfully.