Smart Money Mom

Toxic Mother

Most people who’ve grown under toxic parents live in fear of the unknown. A toxic mother has no limitations and expects every child to bend to what they want. Your children are likely to fear you, and this extends to adulthood.

Toxicity can be a source of suffering with long-lasting repercussions as the scars take time to heal. As a toxic parent, you’ll lose the vital mother-to-child bond, which can affect your child’s personality. Instead of the child developing in the normal way, it can destroy them and their overall well-being. Here, we look at how toxicity can manifest itself in homes and how it affects relationships. Let’s jump straight into the discussion.

mother and daughter
Mother and daughter

Possessiveness

A possessive parent absorbs the child’s personality as they attempt to mold them into their liking, which can lead to loss of identity as the child lives their parent’s life and cannot be their own person in the future.

Neglect

A toxic mother neglects the child’s essential and basic needs such as protection, safety, care, emotions, and security. Unfortunately, these are the building blocks that shape a child’s life, and lack of them has an overall effect on their development and success in later years.

Intrusion

A toxic mother intrudes into a child’s life and intoxicates them with a lot of attention. You may fail to give your child freedom to set their own path and be independent-minded individuals. You’ll want to know everything about their lives and fail to give the child a chance to be their own person, even in adulthood.

Lack of respect

A toxic mother doesn’t respect their child’s decision and questions their word. You may find that you prefer to believe the other children at the expense of the child. You may also have a special preference for other people’s opinions, which deprives the child of the confidence to face situations.

Affects future generations

When you’re a toxic parent, the effect can extend to the future generation as the child will not keep relationships or may treat their future children the same way.

Similarly, it can affect how the child behaves to other siblings as they may feel isolated. In the worst-case scenario, such a child can escape from home and find favor with bad company.

Why is toxicity predominant in mother-to-daughter relationships?

Although toxicity can be two-way on either side, it’s more common in mother to daughter relationship than the father to the child. The main reason is that mothers tend to influence their children’s lives and kids tend to recognize their mother’s behavior more that their father.

As the child grows, they perceive the treatment as dangerous, which creates a rift between the parent and child.

Eating disorder

A toxic mother can cause you to have eating disorders. It happens if your parents tend to bully the child and when comment negatively about your body. Such statements can lead to self-esteem issues and, subsequently, eating disorders.

How to break away from toxicity

If you poison your child, the effects are counterproductive in that you’re the one who will suffer the most when your child fails to meet your expectation.

A toxic mother may as well have been a victim of toxicity or lack of care. The main causes are diverse, and a history of abuse or trauma can cause a strain in future relationships.

It takes time to recover from this condition, and the child may feel guilty or ashamed. There are several ways to treat toxicity, and one of them is therapy.

The wounds may be difficult to heal; however, you can book an appointment with a therapist to walk with you during the recovery journey. The objective of the therapy is to ensure you’re no longer under someone’s control and a chance to be independent.

Workout can help you deal with toxicity as it allows your body to express itself and escape from the toxicity. Some of the recommended sports include martial arts, dancing, and boxing. Exercises restore your capacity to explore, and the energy revitalizes the body to help you focus on your needs.

Another effective method that the specialists may prescribe includes Hypnosis. This approach helps the child to forgive themselves and move on with their life. It takes you to that place where your mother occupied and positions yourself into an independent person who can make decisions.

Why does a child fail to break off from a toxic mother even in adulthood?

If you have a toxic parent, chances are you’ll experience difficulties trying to break away from your mother and be your own person. It can be because of guilt where your mother instills fear of being independent in you. Your mother may have other excuses to keep you at home, such as health issues and complications.

In addition, your mother may threaten to cut off any help, especially financial aid. Your parent may make you pay their bills, and therefore this hinders you from being independent. Quite often, a toxic mother controls your well-being, and you may fear moving out and being your own person.

Seeking help for everybody at home

The toxic relationship may affect everybody at home, and all the members need to seek help. The first step is to seek help or treatment from a qualified therapist who helps your family members deal with mental health issues, which boosts their communication.

A therapist creates a neutral ground for treatment, and that’s why you should find someone who is not in your circle. A therapist may start with joint sessions before proceeding with individual sessions, which are more confidential. It’s vital to disclose to your therapist everything about your relationship with your mother.

Conclusion

Dealing with a toxic mother is challenging, but it’s essential to learn how to get hold of your life. Remember, seeking help is necessary for your overall health and that of other family members. If you have family-related problems, it’s vital to seek help immediately. The decision to break away may be difficult, but it’s the first step in mending your relationships and being your own person.

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